Kombuchat

Are Americans embracing alternative medicine?

Alternative medicine has always been outside of the mainstream. But in the past few years, Americans have been accepting and using alternative remedies at higher rates.

These are the most widely accepted forms of alternative medicine:

In 2007, the most commonly used therapies in America were nonvitamin, nonmineral natural products (18 percent of Americans), deep breathing (13 percent), meditation (9 percent), chiropractic or osteopathic manipulation (9 percent), massage (8 percent), and yoga (6 percent).

None of these are new by any means—some, like meditation, have been practiced for centuries.

But as mainstream healthcare costs become more expensive, more Americans are turning towards alternative remedies instead of costly doctor visits to manage everyday aches and pains.

Physicians are also embracing alternative remedies as science tests and backs up the claims being made by alternative healers.

Alternative medicine has religious roots which, curiously, are not well known by many Americans. In fact:

promotional materials may not use religious or spiritual language, but instead tout scientifically validated health benefits. Consumers who would hesitate to enter a Hindu or Buddhist temple might eagerly practice yoga or mindfulness meditation, if recommended by a physician.

Given that healthcare costs are still increasing and alternative medicines are gaining more mainstream acceptance, it’s likely more Americans will continue to embrace the benefits of alternative medicine.

Chasing away a night owl’s fears

Being a night owl seems like a chore more than a blessing, especially for those of us with 9 to 5 jobs.

Your mornings feel like they should be downtime, and if not spent asleep, then at least in bed or in a calm and relaxed state.

Here are some strategies to overcome the challenge of being a night owl in the morning.

When you’re approaching work, “if you need that early boost to get you through the day, tackle the hard stuff first.”

That way, you don’t face the continual anxiety of having to do the “hard work” during the day.

But before you even get to work, start your day off the right way at home.

Coffee is a beloved drink not just for its effects, but for its ritual:

part of the reason I love coffee so much isn’t just because it tastes good and it’s caffeinated, but also because the process of brewing a nice cup of coffee is meditative for me; it’s a ritual I can indulge in first thing each day. Grinding the beans, weighing, timing the extraction, they’re all fun and relaxing, and the reward I get when I’m finished helps me get out of bed in the morning.

Waking up early and hitting the ground running simply comes easier to some than it does to others. I am not a morning person and I find myself most creative, spiritual, and focused at night.

But I find that consistency is the key to waking up early. Setting a wake up time, having morning rituals, and having something to look forward to in the morning is my way of overcoming the downsides of being a night owl.

Why your next “soap” may be probacterial

For decades, people have been obsessed with antibacterial soap.

Bacteria and germs were painted as the devil, responsible for a host of diseases, and everything from compulsive handwashing to Purell stations in every public place became the norm.

However, a new startup called AOBiome is bucking the trend with a mist that’s probiotic.

The logic works like this: natural bacteria on the skin (before being stripped away by soaps and harsh cleansers) are designed to dissolve the ammonia in sweat and body odor while retaining moisture.

AOBiome has developed a revolutionary bodyspray which contains “billions of cultivated Nitrosomonas eutropha, an ammonia-oxidizing bacteria (AOB) that is most commonly found in dirt and untreated water.”

A New York Times journalist tried the product for a trial period, and the results are astonishing:

My skin began to change for the better. It actually became softer and smoother, rather than dry and flaky, as though a sauna’s worth of humidity had penetrated my winter-hardened shell. And my complexion, prone to hormone-related breakouts, was clear. For the first time ever, my pores seemed to shrink.

Body odor was not a problem as long as she followed the instructions to mist before she left the house and after she got back home.

Probiotic advocates and scientists hope that this is the first step in using probiotics for good.

Those with wounds that fail to respond to antibiotics could receive a probiotic cocktail adapted to fight the specific strain of infecting bacteria. Body odor could be altered to repel insects and thereby fight malaria and dengue fever. And eczema and other chronic inflammatory disorders could be ameliorated.

Now that more and more diseases are becoming resistant to antibiotics, it may be time to start looking in the other direction.

Where to grab kombucha in Dallas

The kombucha kraze is sweeping the nation. No longer just the elixir of the Hollywood elite, kombucha can now be found in Dallas, including at a 24-hour restaurant:

Buzzbrews
All locations of the 24-hour eatery have Holy Kombucha available by the glass or growler. Current flavors on tap include cinnamon-apple spice, hibiscus berry and pineapple passion.

Other restaurants, such as Company Café, Green Spot, Bikram Yoga, Brewed, and Garden Café actually have kombucha on tap—just like beer.

That gives Texans a whole new meaning to “reaching for a cold one”.

it’s on tap!

“The World’s Ugliest Girl” Gives A Heartwarming Lesson On Bullies and Beauty

Lizzie Velazquez suffers from a rare genetic disorder where her body has trouble storing fat.

As a result, her body literally eats away at itself, leaving her struggling to gain weight and in a position where she has to eat constantly to survive.

Lizzie was called “The World’s Ugliest Girl” on the internet after photos of her were posted describing her condition so she could get help.

So she did a TED Talk.

And listening to her speak—she’s the most beautiful girl in the world.

Check it out.

Do doctors hate fat girls?

So this pic of a thick chick flashing flesh got yanked from snapshot social media.

And the barring of the butt-shot spurred serious butthurt and pudge-udice accusations from the hefty and feminists and whoever just wanted a reason to complain because it’s Friday and yelling’s fun. So what am I yelling about? Nothing. I’m as calm as they come. And my issue’s not her; she didn’t bother me. Do what you like (also she looks like a super pretty, well-fed version of Elisha Cuthbert). That’s not a problem. Her bum exposure? That’s no matter either. Instagram removing her pic? Pretty shitty – but no.

instachick

instabum
(Dat ass is covered with sheer undies, btw)

My gripe was a plethora of articles surfacing about “singling out fat ladies – not men” and supporting psychotic claims with non-existent medical stats. This article isn’t wrong about lady folk being objectified into sex objects. That’s old hat. What is wrong whether we’re talking about moon rocks or moon sized rumps, is the whole “according to research” bullshit you can’t actually back up. And the eyeroll award goes to:

“Even health care professionals exhibit bias against larger women. According to research, doctors are more likely to assign weight-loss diets to female bodies, even when male bodies have the same BMI.”

“Research says”?!

Let me see the link! What research? And who reported it? The women who were told to lose weight? The men who weren’t given the same suggestion? Or the doctors themselves? Did they say, “Oh, yes. I’d definitely tell a woman to lose weight.”

I’ve worked in a couple different health fields and you know what?

Men never bring up weight issues themselves. But women do. Here’s a beautiful example: before I took a physical therapy job, I worked briefly for a chiropractor. In the super short time I was there, a corpulent couple would come for appointments every other day. Did the doctor bring up the fact that weight loss was needed first? Nope. But you want to know who did? Her. She did. On the way out one day, she asked “Could I be having these problems with my neck because of my weight?”

ruhroh
(this is the exact face the next boss I had made when asked the same thing) #brilliant

And while this is always a touchy subject (and while he did not initiate the topic), what he did do was be upfront. Like any medical profesh worth his weight (pardon the pun) would do, he answered her honestly and clearly. Mind you, this dude was not my favorite boss. In fact, he was among my un-favorites. But he surprised me as I witnessed this convo unfold. He was clear, honest, and (above all) professional. He said yes – but also offered a scientific explanache for why excess weight causes pain. I don’t remember his analogy, but he covered how it alters posture, strains muscles trying to compensate, and pulls on the old backbone. Boom. Pain.

Take three back packs and fill them up with 100 pounds of anything.

Whether that “anything” is 100 pounds of goat shit or kale chips, it’s still 100 pounds. And it’s heavy. And if you happen to have an inverse relache between nomming and cardio, that something’s gonna be fat stuck on your body sooner or later. It’s science, not Hollywood fat-shaming. But the latter’s how Patient X took it.

She broke out into tears and never came back.

drcox

Sorry, darling. Some docs say the Hippocratic oath the way most Catholics pray. But to the good ones, it actually means something. If you ask, any ethical ones won’t let you leave believing it’s okay to maintain detrimental diets. And it’s alright if you don’t return. There’s plenty of patients who want to recover and live their lives well. That’s even better for him (or “her”, Wanda-WE-CAN-DO-IT) ’cause people willing to meet help halfway can give his business a 5 star rating on Yelp. Boom. More business. If that sits about as well with you as a meal without Mayonnaise, maybe see a shrink to shrink your size. That’s not me being cruel. If you’ve got a deep-seated issue wrought from a wellspring of cognitive dissonance, well… the remedy’s not an M.D.

They only deal only in tangible reality.

But as women play into their own objectification by subconsciously accepting psychotic cultural dictations, we can all get batt-shitty about this sometimes. I’m no stranger. At all. But that doesn’t mean we ask these stupid fucking questions out loud – much less to a doctor. Like the girlfriend who asks if she’s pretty just to call you a liar in the next breath, these chicks are hoping to hear that validating lie from a guy in a white coat… when they already know the real answer.

rebel-les
(love this bitch)

So, in sum:

Good doctors won’t lie.

And most men don’t care enough to ask.

There’s your research, dipshits. Now let’s go for a jog.

*Sidenote: Time to start an IG page with pics of doctors’ faces after big girls ask, “Am I fat?”

Gluten intolerance: pathology or pathos?

Sometimes when I’m shopping, I’ll buy the gluten-free tortillas.

Why not? They just sound healthy. Don’t they? Like something skinny bitches in L.A. eat between sucking emerald sludge through a straw? I mean, my only real allergy to white starchy carbs is that they sit shitty in my tummy organ. I don’t turn into Violet Beauregarde or anything. I just sorta feel like her (had she also eaten the whole factory including the green haired Snookie colored micro humans). But it’s not like I implode or shit fire or whatever. So what is gluten intolerance? Does it even exist?

A recent study says…maybe not.

hills

In it, people claiming to have gluten intolerance were tested. The cool thing is that the same dude who posted the original study (prompting the 2011 commercialized craze campaign against the grain), now shows evidence negating its existence as a disease at all. While the studies don’t deny celiac disease (totally different thing) exists, they do say that gluten intolerance might just be psychological.

Now, card carrying members of the “Uh muh guh… I can’t eat that” club suddenly have their butts hurting along with their intestines. But why? I think there are a few salient points studies like these raise.

It’s not illegal to suffer from your fake disease.

So keep believing whatever you like! In college, I got a stomach-blahbla-whatever from Thai food. And suddenly I became Linda Blair upon ingesting questionable vittles. I lost a fuck ton of weight. Then it abated. But if I wanted to keep my new low weight, that meant I needed the health problem to prevent eating crap again. Well, that or willpower. People do the same thing for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it’s for pity. Sometimes it’s just an excuse to avoid really living life. And you know what’s nice about our country?

We’re free to imprison ourselves in fake infirmities whenever we like.

romymono


It’s a diet mod, not med.

When was the last time you got carded to be overcharged for carbs? So long as they say celiac disease is still real, those gluten free noms will still be labeled on shelves. And you know what? Anyone can buy them! Or am I wrong? Do they demand ID upon selling sawdust flavored wraps? Wait – do they require a prescription now? Is someone keeping a pertinent detail from me?

No? Then shoosh and shop. Buy out Wegman’s expensive bread section. Quietly.

haveitall

Disease isn’t an identity.

There are other, more productive and fulfilling ways to be special. After my herniation and shit storm of body problems, my P.T. said “grow a sack, bitch.” In retrospect, it might have been more like “you are not your pain.” But probably not. Still, he led me from walking like Quasimodo and crying into pill bottles for years – to jogging. And modelling. Lingerie. In Milan.

’cause that’s totally what I was doing before.

Do I still have problems? Hell, yeah! I gotta post-coma Beatrice Kiddo my way outta bed every morning. But it wouldn’t affect me if the news suddenly said “Backaches are fake!” Why? Because I don’t need scientific significance for my experiences. It just assigns emotions to phenomena. If something hurts, I feel it, fix it, then fuck it off. If a food makes me sick, I avoid it – not throw a pathos party at the the dinner table.

Besides, I’ve already been there, done that, bought the XS tee-shirt. It’s boring.

Genuine illnesses or not – we’re more our maladies.

foodfantastic


On the defensive or asking questions?

Instead of getting angry, why not flip it critically? Who did the research? And who was in the sample? And what parts of the story aren’t being told or emphasized? Just because it’s broadcasted doesn’t make it law.

Also, consider who ran it. The same researcher who showed evidence of gluten intolerance even being a thing several years ago – is the one disproving his own study now. While that says a lot about his humility as a professional (which is awesome) it also indicates something far larger: science revises itself because it’s not always right. Scientists do research because the field evolves.

They’re great – but not gods.

When science becomes infallible, “scientist” won’t be a job.

So, do your thang, girl.

meangirlsthelimit

Can yoga detox the body?

As exercise, yoga is unmatched in the potential for it to increase flexibility, athleticism, and cardiovascular strength,

But can yoga detox too?

Apparently, there’s a special yoga position called Ardha Matsyendrasna which is supposed to detox the body:

When performed correctly, after a proper warm-up and with attention to alignment, this humble but adaptable twist both strengthens and releases a host of muscles from your rhomboids (associated with the scapula) to your hamstrings, with a lot in between including both internal and external obliques and spinal extensors.

Despite the fact that this yoga position can increase blood flow throughout the body, it does not detox the body.

Detox comes from the liver, and yoga will not directly affect liver function.

Your liver is a truly amazing filter, and anything that increases blood flow and exercise can help your liver run more efficiently.

In fact, exercise is the most effective “detox”:

To quote Sir Liam Donaldson, former Chief Medical Officer, in his 2009 report on the state of public health: “The potential benefits of physical activity to health are huge. If a medication existed which had a similar effect, it would be regarded as a ‘wonder drug’ or ‘miracle cure’.”

Tongue Torture: Fake sugar

I’m all for self-care, but I’ve got to draw the line somewhere.

And since that line’s not made of drugs, it’d best be made of sugar.

cookiemonster

Or at least a sugar substitute for my latte. HashtagMyCoffeeIsAHotMilkshake

I keep hearing that “quitting sugar” will help with skin or concentration or – something. I dunno. The bottom line is that it will help me remain hot into old age. The only problem is – everything that’s not actual sugar seems to cause cancer.

There’s saccharine – created on accident while trying to make a chemical dye back in the 1800’s. That should say it all. But when it didn’t, the fact that it caused cancer in rats should have. I mean, sure. Everyone shat themselves and put warnings on the labels for a short while. But by the 90’s the warning’s got retracted after an update that the saccharine cancer only happens in the lab animals – not us.

carryon
Mmhmm.

Then there’s aspartame.

I remember my parents keeping a can of aspartame infused soda in the pantry like some tin trinket of effervescent posterity. As the years passed, it slowly expanded the way my dad’s waistline did after discovering Starbucks’s confection section. Any time my wrist crossed its path en route for morning Cheerios, all I wanted to do was chuck the fckking thing against the wall to experience the wave of explosive euphoria that happens upon crashing carbonated impact.

And justified, I was, it would seem.

The rats eating aspartame landed a litany of shit – blood, breast, and kidney cancers. You name it. And I don’t want to hear that “it’s just in rats” crap. We do about four point kajillion experiments on those furry fuckers to confirm all sorts of other diseases and medication usefulness. You can’t just change the rules to sell your awful product.

Especially when you cater the ONE experiment you do on humans to yield the results you want. The research on aspartame that said humans consuming it didn’t get cancer – only studied the demographic sliver of young folk.

To be fair, that might just be because all the old people who volunteered are dead.

Of, ya know, aspartame cancer.

Of the safest sugar shoe-ins, sucralose (AKA Splenda) just might be our best bet. It’s known for being sweeter than the previous two, non-caloric, and … not broken down by the body? Wait, is that a good thing?

And there’s also Stevia (Truvia). It’s about as many times sweeter than sugar as I am after a triple tall mocha. But as someone who uses stevia in marginal amounts, I can say it’s almost worth the thin. Almost. And that “it tastes like licorice if you have too much” account on wikipedia is a dogshit description.

I made that mistake – dumping too much in my tea one time. ONCE.

And I still haven’t managed to erase the taste of burnt M&M’s doused in gasoline and napalm.

blackisfine

But let’s get down to the meat and couch potatoes. In Yale’s fatty study on people who lace their meals with counterfeit cane, it turns out they’re usually tubbier than those nomming on the au naturale.

But that shouldn’t be surprising.

Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see why the scales are rocketing to the right. The reason they’re so fat is because they keep eating exponential gobs of grub covered in shit-sugar that doesn’t have caloric benefits in the first place.

First, it’s that thought of, “Maybe if I try harder, the next bite will taste less like punishment. And they say that until the meal is done.

And when that expectation fails to fulfill itself, you’ve eaten a meal full of nothing (AKA non calorie). So not only is your mouth muscle unsatisfied, your actual body is too.

Thus, the urge rises to wash away the aftertaste of baby diarrhea – by demolishing any remaining contents of your fridge with your face.

So, the rule is. Be fearless of real sugar – in bits.

Then you won’t have to fear fat or half these diseases science snarls atchya.

sugarmonster

These teas can calm you

Tea is usually portrayed as the chill sibling of hyperactive coffee.

But what few understand is that most teas, whether green or black, can actually be energizing as well. Before bedtime, a cup of green tea or black tea can make you restless and have the opposite effect as intended.

Many people tout chamomile as a relaxing tea.

Mark’s Daily Apple has a great rundown of other teas that have a calming effect:

  • Ashwagandha
  • Lemon Balm
  • Passion Flower
  • Hops (yes, the ingredient used in beer)
  • Holy Basil
  • Siberian Ginseng

Of particular interest (and with fewest side effects when consumed in high concentrations) is Lemon Balm, which is likely the easiest to find out of this list.

Lemon balm is known for the following effects:

When combined with valerian, lemon balm reduces lab-induced stress in human subjects. The combo also reduces restlessness in afflicted children.

Lemon balm appears to reduce cortisol concentrations and increase GABA, perhaps by inhibiting the enzyme which degrades GABA. This particular enzyme is a common target in anti-anxiety treatments.

Plus, if you forget the name, just remember that it rhymes with ‘calm’.

What are your favorite calming teas?